I have decided to participate in Reverb 10 …a month of daily prompts to get you thinking about 2010 and manifesting your dreams in 2011. Since I was already hoping to do a lot of both of those things, this project seemed like the perfect idea. That being said, I am not going to promise daily posts…I will *try,* but keep in mind that I have a toddler.
My 2010 Creating Your Goddess Year Workbook tells me that the word I chose to envision 2010 was “Mindfulness.” The blog I was using at the time has been deleted due to lack-of-writing (see aforementioned caveat re: having a toddler), but I remember that I chose this word for a multitude of reasons, and using several definitions:
Mindfulness: being present in the ever day, choosing joy in little things
Mindfulness: being “mindful” or aware of how my choices impacted others
Mindfulness: being aware of my actions and how they affect the environment
Hmm…I think I managed 2 of the 3. Unfortunately, the one I had the problem with was the first one. But hey, let’s talk victories here: I signed up for a CSA and started buying local foods. I’ve become very passionate about it, actually, and will -for example- go without eggs if my only other alternative is ones from Ontario (really, guys? They have chickens here in NS, too, you know). I’m playing with a vegan cookbook (BEST COOKIES EVER). We moved back to an apartment because of the outrageous heating bills and hideously poor insulation in the house we were renting. Progress. But “mindfulness”? Not really.
Looking back on 2010, if I had to pick a word that encapsulates the year as it actually was…well, that word would probably be something like “Lost” or “Frozen” or “Stasis”…something that coveys a sense of the total off-centeredness I felt, the burnout of the second-and-a-half year of motherhood with few breaks in it, the panic I felt as I realized that we couldn’t afford the house we were in, and that even if we *could* I would have wanted to leave. I was out of touch with my essence, my partner, my son, and the Universe. While nothing catastrophically bad happened…it wasn’t a particularly happy year…not in any deep, meaningful sense.
It’s gotten better. Leaving the house was a major step. Signing up for the Goddess Circle was a big step. Devoting a month (well, 3 weeks) to my novel and writing 75 pages was a HUGE step. But it sort of feels like all of the good stuff happened at the end. Maybe that makes sense…autumn is always the time when things change for both myself and my husband. Autumn is when magic happens whether I’m looking for it or not. I’m hoping that now that I’m more centered and connected I will be able to see magic all year long…we’ll see.
If I had to choose one word that captures 2011…it would be Blossom. I talked about it in the month leading up to my 30th birthday. Even since then my understanding of it has evolved. When I look back over 2011 I want to see the growth I have made, personally, spiritually, emotionally, and financially. I want to *feel* my roots pushing into the soil, my branches reaching to the heavens, the solid Me-ness of my entire life and being. Unapologetic, securely, confidently blossoming in the way that only I can. Proudly uncovering my essence and putting it on display (if I were a flowering shrub, what colour would my flowers be?).
Blossom. Let 2011 be my blossoming year.