Dec 20: Beyond Avoidance

Today’s Reverb 10 prompt asks: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

To which I respond: I REFUSE TO ANSWER A PROMPT WORDED LIKE THAT BECAUSE I AM WORKING ON REMOVING “SHOULD” FROM MY VOCABULARY!!

So I rephrase the prompt likey-so: What would you have liked to accomplish this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

…doesn’t that feel better? It does to me!!

I would have liked to get Spirit Moves Dance back up and running for real.  I took steps…I revamped my website and I hosted Groove Back events and I did one Reiki Healing Dance treatment…but I just never took off with it.  I felt lost.  I felt like I didn’t quite know what I wanted to do.  I felt not-ready, to be honest.  I spent a lot of the year “should”ing on myself about it…until last month when I FINALLY  gave myself permission to just Be In Transition.  This was the year I processed the lessons that the first 16 months of motherhood brought.  This was the year I realized where I wanted to be.  And these last two months have been months where I’ve learned more about myself than I ever thought possible…knowledge of myself that is absolutely crucial to making my business authentically me (and if it’s not authentically me…then it’s not my dream business, is it?).

I told myself that I was too scared/worried/unsure/etc to make progress on this dream.  But I think I just wasn’t ready.  Because after releasing the “should” from this prompt I realize that this year was vital in making me ready to leap.  Sometimes you need to sit still for a while and just let things soak in.

So back off, Jake Nickell (who wrote this prompt).  Don’t “should” on THIS mama.  This year I was processing.  Just you wait until 2011…you’ll see.  Because it’s a brand new year, and I’m clearing out my closets to make room for buckets of dreams…and NO SHOULDS.

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