Today’s Reverb 10 prompt asks: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
To which I respond: I REFUSE TO ANSWER A PROMPT WORDED LIKE THAT BECAUSE I AM WORKING ON REMOVING “SHOULD” FROM MY VOCABULARY!!
So I rephrase the prompt likey-so: What would you have liked to accomplish this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
…doesn’t that feel better? It does to me!!
I would have liked to get Spirit Moves Dance back up and running for real. I took steps…I revamped my website and I hosted Groove Back events and I did one Reiki Healing Dance treatment…but I just never took off with it. I felt lost. I felt like I didn’t quite know what I wanted to do. I felt not-ready, to be honest. I spent a lot of the year “should”ing on myself about it…until last month when I FINALLY gave myself permission to just Be In Transition. This was the year I processed the lessons that the first 16 months of motherhood brought. This was the year I realized where I wanted to be. And these last two months have been months where I’ve learned more about myself than I ever thought possible…knowledge of myself that is absolutely crucial to making my business authentically me (and if it’s not authentically me…then it’s not my dream business, is it?).
I told myself that I was too scared/worried/unsure/etc to make progress on this dream. But I think I just wasn’t ready. Because after releasing the “should” from this prompt I realize that this year was vital in making me ready to leap. Sometimes you need to sit still for a while and just let things soak in.
So back off, Jake Nickell (who wrote this prompt). Don’t “should” on THIS mama. This year I was processing. Just you wait until 2011…you’ll see. Because it’s a brand new year, and I’m clearing out my closets to make room for buckets of dreams…and NO SHOULDS.