Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it, and happy holiday-of-your-preference to everyone else! I have been in a pre-Christmas whirl for the past few days, and have fallen behind with Reverbing…so now that my FIRST-EVER TURKEY DINNER is done (with WILD success!), I’m going to catch up!
Dec 23: Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
This one took a LOT of thought…until I realized that I would LOVE to introduce myself to people as “The Doctor” for a day. Call me a massive nerd, but I think it would be SUPER-FUN to do. I don’t really have a good reason, other than the aforementioned uber-nerdiness…but I suppose it would be an easy way to find other ultra-nerds, and thus a way of establishing a “Hey! We have something in common!” connection immediately. (I didn’t go too deep with this one, but there you go.)
Dec 24: What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
You are going to laugh your ass off, but this moment actually happened yesterday. We spent the 23rd finishing up Christmas shopping…and yesterday evening I checked our bank balance and had the “OH MY GOD HOW THE FRAK ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE UNTIL JANUARY 3RD?!” freak-out. And then Matthew caught the freak-out bug and it got really REALLY miserable for a while there.
And then we started talking. OK, we took a minute to get calm and stop hyperventilating and THEN we started talking. We looked below the freak-out and asked ourselves “If this situation has come for a reason, then what lessons has it come to teach us” (by “for a reason” I don’t mean “because you spent too much money on Christmas, you freaking idiots,” I mean “for a reason” in the big-picture, universal, woo-woo-hippy way). And we talked about what we wanted to teach Xander about Christmas and how we want to do things differently. And it helped us go to a really deep place of connection and communication that we hadn’t been to in a while. And even though we’re still screwed financially, we came out of the moment with faith that we could work this stuff out and with trust that 2011 is the year that things change for us.
The moment sucked, but it brought so many gifts: connection, communication, a new value for what Christmas is really about, and confirmation that the “what lesson is this hideously sucky experience bringing?” approach works for us. I hope that in the year ahead we can continue to deal with less-than-awesome situations in the same way: in a way that strengthens us instead of beating us down, in a way that connects us instead of pulling us apart, and in a way that allows us to move forward with faith that everything is happening the way it needs to (but yes, avoiding financial freak-outs by spending less money would also be a good idea).
Dec 25: Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.
This is a photo that Matthew took of my dad and me (and a conked-out boy) on top of the CN Tower this past October. I chose it for ALL kinds of reasons:
1. I’ve struggled a lot these past years with losing my silly-crazy-confident-kickass inner self. Like, I forgot she was there. It wasn’t all a Mama-thing either…it’s been going on for years and years. This, right here, is a picture of that girl.
2. I am TERRIFIED of heights. And, obviously, the CN Tower involves heights. In fact, we not only went up the CN Tower, we went up the extra 33 stories to the “Sky Pod.” It. Was. Terrifying. But after I came back down (oh, that elevator…*shudder*) I felt more alive than I had in months. It was amazing. So, this is a photo of me doing something that challenged and slightly terrified me. And I did it. It was very cool. If I could say anything about my dreams for 2011, it would be that I hope to capture this feeling again and again and again (not by taking elevators up absurdly tall buildings, but by doing things that scare me but that ultimately make me feel more alive).
3. My dad thinks that people looked at us posing for this photo and thought we were nuts. I think that they looked at us and chuckled a little bit to themselves. I know I do whenever I see this photo. I think that we brought some merriment and joy into someone else’s day…and that’s also something I would like to do more of.
4. On the day this was taken we were completely spontaneous. We invited my dad to come out with us on a whim, and he did, and then we all wandered downtown and found the most amazing indie burger joint for lunch, and then we made our way slowly down to the CN Tower (figuring out our way as we went). It was just lovely. We spent time with each other and did unexpected things and it all worked out. I would love to do more of this as well.
What does this photo reveal about me? I think it reveals my silly, goofy, completely awesome side, the daring and brave and slightly crazy side, and the side that feels free to break from routine and make magic happen.
Have a wonderful holiday everyone!